Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

The passage is found in the New Testament in Matthew (7:7, NIV). For many people, these words are merely a beautiful text with little or no meaning on a personal level. Perhaps its promise may not even seem realistic, especially if we lack a spiritual or religious life. Even with a belief in a Higher Power, the message may still seem too good to be true. Yet, during the last years of my own life, this passage has been transformed from a distant possibility to an actual reality.

Using “asking” in real life

In my interpretation today, I believe the “asking” is not primarily meant to be a wishing for good or better things. Rather, it would refer to ”a yearning for a change of mind and heart”. It may be a need to understand a complex situation; or for guidance on how to act in a difficult situation, or how to relate to another person; or a desire for another emotional state, such as more harmony or courage.

When a difficult situation arises in my life, my natural tendency has always been to call a friend or talk with a parent to ventilate and ask for advice. As an adult, I will also turn to my husband to share my thoughts and feelings, and perhaps receive comfort in a long hug. Over the last years, however, when a challenge comes up, I have begun to also turn within (to God*) for guidance. In many ways, this practice is not farfetched for me, as I do believe in God’s existence and have a sincere interest in spirituality. Yet, before my very first experience of asking God and actually receiving an answer, I didn’t know if it would be possible. Today, having received clear and relevant answers on at least a handful of occasions, I know through personal experience that it is indeed possible for any person. (*Note: Instead of using the word God, you may refer to a “Higher power”, “Source”, “Spirit”, “Higher Self”, “Soul”, “Your body’s inner wisdom”, or similar.)

When asking, the question may concern anything that feels important in that moment. For me, the answer may come as one or more words or as an inner image. There is no sound in the head but the words and images come telepathically, either as written words or scenes. More than often, and to my astonishment, the same message will come again several times over the following days or weeks, by other means. For example, I might be reading a text and the same words that were received within are seen written on the page. Or I might be listening to an audio or watching a video, and the same answer is emphasized by the person speaking. I am amazed by the confirmation every time. It gives me assurance that I should take the message ’to heart’ and act upon it with trust.

Note: We are the most receptive to an answer when we are most desparate for help. We need to be fully open to whatever is given and eagerly yearning for an answer, not just asking out of curiousity. You could say that your heart must be open and yearning so that the door (to God/Higher Wisdom) will be opened for you.

The Process of Asking

The process of asking is really quite simple. Practically, I will be lying down on my bed, either in the evening at bedtime, in the morning after waking up, or in the daytime when I feel a pressing need to go within for an answer. I begin by closing my eyes and setting an intention to turn inward with an open, curious, and humble mind. I then anchor myself with a simple reminder that “I do not know what do think/feel/do” (depending on what I feel). I then wait patiently for any word or image to arise in my mind. The answers astonish me each time; they are crystal clear in terms of the wordings and meaning for my personal situation. Also, they are perfectly relevant and to the point for my particular question.

When asking, it is important to be open to whatever answers may come. If we hold judgment, disbelief, or any other form of resistance, we will block ourselves from hearing or seeing an answer. At the same time, we need to have some level of discernment in order to rely on the source of the answer and to trust in the message. If the message is coming from your own egoic mind (or personality), it tends to be based either in fear or primarily selfish concerns. In contrast, if the answer is truly coming from a higher source of wisdom, you feel the quality of benevolence in the answer, and you may be surprised by its wisdom and simplicity. A thought like this may come: ”Of course, why didn’t I think of that!”. When we are able to intuitively trust in the source, we will know that the message is of the highest good for both ourselves and everyone concerned.

At the same time, we always have free will to decide whether to believe in and act upon the answer, or to ignore it and dismiss it. No matter what their character, we have the opportunity to learn from our choices and actions.

A message: Wait, Believe and Focus

Some time ago, I was faced with a difficult situation and was struggling with a sense of confusion and lack of direction. At one point, I realized that I needed to ask God for guidance, as I couldn’t find the answers within my intellectual mind nor in other people’s advice. The situation was too complex to understand with my intellect, and because I didn’t know how to relate to it emotionally, I couldn’t find any peace inside.

So, I decided to go within. I closed my eyes and formulated my central question as truthfully and concisely as possible. Then, I directed my attention forward as if focusing on a central point in front of me in the blurr scene of my inner vision. I rested in a trust that the question will be heard (by God) and that – if I wait patiently long enough – an answer will emerge. The question was: “How can I relate to this situation?”

Within a few minutes or less, a word arose in my mind: “WAIT” (as “vänta” in Swedish). I gratefully savored the word, including its significance and implications, which came almost instantaneously along with the word. For me, the message meant that I needed to wait for the underlying process to unfold at its own pace, and I needed to have patience and to trust in the natural progression of events (yet playing my part as well as I could).

After some seconds’ pause, I asked again: “Is there anything more?”. I waited in silence and soon another word appeared before my inner vision: “BELIEVE” (as ”tro” in Swedish). Ahh, yes, I instantly knew its meaning for me: I needed to believe that Goodness/Love is strongest and will conquer anything, that God is in charge as the Highest Power, and that there is a purpose for everything, which is beyond my present understanding and control.

A third time I asked: “Is there anything more?” Now, an image appeared of a certain person with light and love coming out of his/her body as beaming radiance. The understanding that was given with the image was that I needed to focus on the light (or good and pure) in him/her, through loving eyes. Of course, it made so much sense…

After a moment’s pondering on each answer, I thanked God whole-heartedly for the three-part message. It had given me both calm and direction. Now, I knew how to relate to the situation with greater clarity and peace. By trusting in the message, I was able to shift my mental approach to the situation and adjust my behavior in a more constructive way. I knew that I now would be able to support the situation’s natural unfolding for the highest outcome to all involved.

In this way, I was part of a greater positive process. I was neither powerless, nor a victim, nor fully in charge either. The situation was not about me, but about the evolution of all souls/people involved. My part was simply to wait, believe, and focus on the light/love in the other person. (Fascinatingly, this message was confirmed by external messages as shown in the photos below.) Only a few days after the original message to wait, believe and focus, the importance of waiting was given again in the subway as I looked up from my phone and through the window.

Only a few days after the original message ”to wait, believe and focus”, this message was given again inside the subway train; when I looked up from my phone and through the window, I see these words: ”Good things come to those who wait”. Some days later, yet another confirmation was given on my way home, again on the subway wall: ”Waiting for a miracle”. (See the two photos below)

Today, in hindsight, I can say that the perfect answer was truly given. I had knocked and the door was indeed opened, as if lifting a veil to another dimension where truth and wisdom are ever present. By asking with sincerity, I had been supported in recognizing the most beneficial perspective, attitude, and action to move forward.In the future, I will continue to ask God for guidance whenever I am faced with a difficult situation and feel confused or uncertain.

With a pure intention, an open mind and a humble heart, we can all receive answers to the questions we hold. If we only knock with sincerity and wait with patience, the door will be opened and the message presented clearly. And if we can intuitively discern and trust in the source, we will receive and know our wisest and most loving path forward. Perhaps next time, you may wish to try (if you haven’t already)? If so, would love to hear your experiences. ♡

Warm blessings,
Anna

For many people, finding time and space for ”stillness” can be difficult in modern everyday life. Yet, being still has many highly valuable benefits for our health and wellbeing, as proven by research. When we still ourselves, by sitting or laying down, closing our eyes, and turning our attention inward, we are able to tune into our bodily sensations and become aware of our thoughts and feelings, and ultimately, listen to our inner voice. People who practice meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or similar forms of centering practice on a regular basis are well acquainted with the calming, deeply relaxing and even healing outcomes of being still. For others, however, practicing stillness can be difficult to ”make happen” on most days, perhaps even on vacation.

Words from Ancient Teachings

In the Old Testament, there is a famous verse that reads: ”Be Still, and Know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). When we are still and focus our attention inward, we can align with our inner ”center point”. Some people call this place our ”Soul center”. Others describe it as our ”True or Higher Self” or ”Essence”. Still others refer to it as ”God within” and believe it to be the place where we are ”One with God”. Regardless of how we phrase it, it is the place where we become witness to our external conditions, as the events, people and environment around us. Even more importantly, it is also the place where we can observe our inner reality, as our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. In other words, we become the Observer as opposed to the Reactor. Thus, when we lean back into our center point, we distance our awareness away from our random thoughts, associated feelings, and any discomfort in our body. As the Observers of our reality, we can begin to detach from (or let go of) our fears, worries, expectations, desires, etc. After sufficient mindfulness practice, we can eventually experience moments of ”equanimity” (or inner calm) and even so-called ”enlightenment” (or spiritual awakening).

Buddha wrote at great length about how to attain equanimity and enlightenment through various practices of mindfulness and surrendering. According to the buddhist monk Bhikkhu Bodhi, ”The mind of equanimity is compared to the driver of a chariot when the horses are moving at a steady pace: he neither has to urge them forward nor to hold them back, but can just sit comfortably and watch the scenery go by.” (The Noble Eightfold Path, 1998). Jesus also encouraged us to loosen our strings to the outer world with his saying: ”Be passersby” (Gospel of Thomas, Saying 42). In the same Gospel, Jesus also encourages us to seek the ”treasure that is unfailing, that is enduring, where no moth comes to eat and no worm destroys.” In other words, the enduring treasures are rarely found in the outer world, but rather in the spiritual or relational inner world.

Your answers are found within…

In our modern lives, it is easy to become distracted by the constant flow of information and outer impressions, especially if you are an extrovert. Yet, often, it is not in the outer world where we find our most valuable answers and unique ideas, but within. When we practice meditation, or let our minds rest in effortless wandering, for example while sitting on the bus or taking a shower, we are suddenly given the very answers that we seek.

Our ”inside” is nothing like an empty dull well, but rather like a flourishing garden where we can find our greatest treasures. Our innermost reality has understandably been likened to a Kingdom, as portrayed in the Gospel of Luke: ”Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, [See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, New Testament)

Moreover, Emmet Fox, one of the most popular New Thought Leaders of the early 20th century in the US, wrote: ”It is being still to know that God is God. Such ’stillness’ is the reverse of laziness or inaction. The still dwelling upon God is the quietest but the most potent action of all.” (Source) In other words, the practice of stillness need not be a passive act, but can be a continuous adventure of exploring your ever-unfolding unknown. Regardless of what you may be expecting, being still and going within can lead you to the very answers that you have been seeking, and to the peace of mind and heart that you have been longing for. At least, it will be a journey worthwile taking.

In the image (above), I share my own definition of ”meditation”. To me, it is ”the practice of consciously re-turning to our innermost place of being the still, silent and serene Observer, where we are able to rest peacefully in the Here and Now and embody our innate capacity for non-judgment, non-reactivity and awareness of eternal unity.” Yes, lots of words, but hopefully something worth contemplating…

For more inspiration, see this article ”The Outer Guard Position vs The Inner Soul Center”.

PS. This article was first written as a ”newsletter”, which was sent out in November, 2021.

Coaching on to the Spiritual and Existential

If you wish to talk about existential and/or spiritual aspects of human life, or if you are facing a personal existential challenge or crisis in your own life, warm welcome to contact me. (Read more here.)

We are all born with the basic need to feel seen, heard, appreciated and loved. Also, to varying degrees, we all need someone to share our thoughts, feelings, activities and wordly things with. Sharing our feelings with another person is of particular importance, may it be pleasurable ones of joy and love, or painful ones of worry and sadness, or just modest feelings of everyday character.

As children, we naturally turn to our parents for expressing our feelings and sharing our daily experiences, and to receive confirmation, appreciation, compassion, love, or support in return. Yet, most parents (naturally) tend to have lots on their mind and are not always able to be fully present with the child (mentally, emotionally and/or physically). Although some people may be highly skilled listeners, most parents are now and then unable to find the time, energy, and peace of mind to devote their full attention to the child. Most, if not all children, have experienced moments when they sought a parent’s presence yet sensed his/her absence to some degree. In those moments, the parent may not have been conscious about his/her absent-mindedness, or was at least not neglectful on purpose. If loving and undevoted attention is given on a general basis, an occasional neglect hardly has a lasting impact on the child’s well-being and development. Yet, repeated or long-term neglect (or ”conditioned” attention on the parent’s terms) can make the child draw false conclusions about his/her self-worth and the risks of self-expression.

Forming beliefs for emotional protection

If a child experiences mental and emotional absence of a parent on a repeated or consistent basis, the child will eventually draw conclusions (unknowingly) about his/her self-worth. Over time, the child may develop a belief that ”it is not okay or safe to share my thoughts and feelings with another person, because if I do, I may get hurt.” This subconscious belief can also be summarized as:

“If I share my thoughts or feelings with another person, I will be [ignored, misunderstood, unseen or unheard] and then I will feel [unloved, unimportant or lonely], which could mean that I am unworthy of attention, appreciation, and loving presence.” (Note: Choose the approriate words in the brackets.)

It was never about you and your worthiness

In my coaching practice, I often hear about clients’ experiences of having been neglected, inadequately attended, or given only conditioned attention, either by one or both parents, and how this has affected them in painful ways.

If you are familiar with this pattern from your own life, it is important that you seek to find the real reasons WHY your parent was unable to give his/her full attention and unconditional presence to you as a child (whether it occurred at certain times or regularly). When we understand the actual underlying reasons, we will realize that the neglect was never about us or our worth. Instead, it will become clear that it was always and only about the parent’s limited capacity or ability to give undivided attention and loving presence in each moment. In the second that we recognize this truth, we will be able to let go of the false belief that the lack of attention and loving presence was because of our limited worthiness. The words that the client receive during the healing process from the parent (as silent words) are always: ”I didn’t know better”, ”I couldn’t do better”, or ”I didn’t dare more”, or something similar.

Going deeper into the essence

How do we learn about the true cause(s) of any lacking or inadequate presence from a parent? First, we need to be willing to go within and back in time to the actual hurtful experience. Secondly, we need to find a coach or therapist that can lead us into such a deep state where we are able to re-experience those moments of interaction with the parent. Thirdly, in that ”imaginary state” (which feels fascinatingly real) we need to be willing to feel those painful emotions again, yet now even more fully. As we re-live the hurtful experience as a child in the imaginary state (yet supported by the higher understanding and courage of ourselves as adults), we also have the ability to feel into our parent’s inner state and what hindered him/her from being present with us in that moment. Then and there, we are able to receive the full truth of the situation from both perspectives (as the child and the parent). With this fuller understanding, we are able to accept the hurtful events of the past and to forgive our parent for not being fully and lovingly present with us in those moments. The inner scene that unfolds in this “therapeutic state” is one of unconditional love, peace, and a new level of freedom. After many times of guiding clients through this journey of healing and transformation, I gave it the name ”Into Essence” (as in finding the inner essence of the situation, the parent, and the child).

The 12 ”P’s” that may prevent full presence

What may hinder a parent (or any person) from being fully and unconditionally present? Over the years, I have come across a number of possible causes that may prevent a parent (or person) from being fully present with the child to receive and share the child’s thoughts and feelings. These factors can be summarized as 12 words (all beginning with the letter P):

1. Problem – the parent is immersed in some sort of problem, may it be practical, intellectual, relational, private or work-related.
2. Plight – the parent is prevented or preoccupied by certain plights, either for work or as household chores. Likewise, a profession may involve work-related travel, which also prevents the parent to be present with the child at certain periods or weekdays.
3. Project – the parent is focused on a project, either work-related or home-based, that needs to be finished at a certain time.
4. Profession – the parent is often obliged to attend to its professional demands and expectations. For example, work-related travel and certain deadlines may prevent parents to be present with the child at certain periods or weekdays.
5. Passion – the parent is so passionate about something in his/her personal life that it hinders full presence with the child in certain moments of need.
6. Pain – the parent is hindered by his/her own pain (physical and/or emotional).
7. Poor energy or health – the parent is unable to be fully present due to low energy (due to exhaustion or depression) or other health conditions.
8. Persona – the parent is preoccupied by a focus on his/her own personal matters and interests.
9. Privacy – the parent’s personality causes a high degree of privacy towards others, which makes him/her unable to be fully present with the child.
10. Pride – the parent is too pride (for whatever reason) to acknowledge the child and to give of his/her full and unconditional presence.
11. Poverty – the parent is unable to spend time with the child for economic reasons, perhaps after a separation and subsequent move to another town.
12. Prison – in rare cases the parent may be in prison for a certain time period and is unable to be with the child.

Most persons have experienced at least two or more of these conditions on some or many occasions in their lives (the last two factors being very rare). Yet, this may not lead to any negative consequences for our well-being and self-worth, unless it happened in a significant way or repeatedly.

It is important to remember that a child not only needs to share his/her pleasures (such as joy, enthusiasm, love, gratitude, etc), but also feelings of pain (such as sadness, upset, anger, fear, etc) with a parent. In fact, all children need to experience both “co-pleasure” and “com-passion” with some parent or caretaker in order to feel confirmed, validated and loved, which will lead to healthy levels of self-love, self-worth, and inner confidence.

The value of ”co-pleasure” and ”com-passion”

Why is the gift of presence important? If we, as children, rarely (if ever) felt welcome and encouraged to share our joy and enthusiasm with a parent, we will not feel fully confident to share our joy and enthusiasm with others as adults. Similarly, if we did not feel safe to share our pain with a parent, we will not dare to express our sorrow, hurt and similar feelings as adults. Subconsciously we may live with the belief that “No one cares about how I feel”, or “I am not worthy of care, compassion and support”. Such beliefs are most likely based solely on misunderstandings and false conclusions, based on the child’s limited understanding of life, him/herself, and of the parent. The child tends to identify negative events as the results of his/her own worthiness, mistakes, or flaws. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. When we recognize how we might have drawn false conclusions based on our limited understanding as children, we become free from the fears and self-imposed limitations that we once created to protect ourselves from getting hurt again in a similar way.

In truth, you are always free to be and express yourself in any way that you wish (*as long as it does not cause harm to someone else by will). In fact, there are no real hinders for your free and full expression. To be able to share our true feelings with another person is not only essential for living a fulfilled life, but also a key ingredient for healing and long-term well-being. Reminding ourselves of what we loved as children is a very good start…

Warm blessings on your journey of self-discovery, growth and healing,

Anna

(PS. This article was first made as a newsletter and sent out in October 2022. If you wish to subscribe, please send an email and I will add you as newsletter subscriber.)

(Note: The list of 12 P’s was upated on August 5th, 2024.)

Finding core beliefs by going into the body and feeling the sensations

About ten years ago, I developed a diffuse pain in my lower legs, which would arise on occasion. After a few years with this recurring symptom, I finally decided to do some deep inner work through EFT Tapping. With this process, I ”went into my body” with my focused attention, with the intention to feel the ”pain sensations” as fully as possible inside my legs. After some minutes in this state of focus, I was able to receive the message from my body, that the pain was due to my tendency to rush and hurry. This is a tendency that I have had for a long time, perhaps since my early 30s. Eventhough I knew it was not healthy, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from doing it. Such a learned behaviour can be quite difficult to change simply by using our will-power. Rather, we need to use a deeper mental and emotional process.

To give you a typical example: I would be standing in the bathroom in the evening and about to brush my teeth. As soon as I started, I would feel a need to rush with it. In my mind, the rushing was necessary because it was late in the evening and my husband was already in bed, and I didn’t want him to wait for me, although I knew he didn’t mind. Yet, even just the thought of needing to rush triggered the leg pain. As my conditioned thoughts to hurry set in, I would feel the stress-level rising in my body, and within seconds, the pain would emerge. It felt like a tension, constriction, and even increased density in the legs. The more aware I got of the situation, the more apparent it became that the pain in my lower legs was due to my tendency to hurry, and that the pain emerged in response to my thoughts, although subconscious and automatic.

At this point, I knew that if could identify the thought-patterns and underlying beliefs that preceeded the pain, I would be able to process and transform these mental patterns and associated emotions, which in turn would undo this hurrying tendency and remove the need to tensen my legs, which would finally remove the recurrence of pain.

To conclude, the underlying belief (that was causing the pain) could be summarized as:

– ”I need to rush/hurry with what I am doing.”

Next, I decided to go even deeper. I was now aware of what the underlying core belief was (”I need to rush/hurry with what I am doing.”). But, from where did it originate? And what were the underlying emotions and possible circumstances associated with it. After some further inner work, I realized that the pain actually stemmed from TWO separate stressful incidents in my childhood, which were interconnected by building on each other:

a) The first incident was a ”near car accident”, which happened when I was about 7 years old. My father, twin sister, and I were traveling in the car down a two-way, single lane road in a forested area on Gotland, in the South of Sweden (similar to the image below). It was in the late 1970s and we had an old brown Volvo 240 without any seat belts in the back seat for us children. My twin sister and I were quarreling for some time, and didn’t stop to our father’s growing frustration. Finally, he got so angry with us that he pressed the breaks rather hard, whereupon we flew up, standing straight in the back seat, while the car slided to the right side of the road, nearly going down into the ditch. I was totally unprepared for this sudden hard stop and felt quite chocked. In this very moment, I subconsciously created the following belief:

– ”If someone gets angry with me, something dangerous might happen.”

b) The second incident was some years later, being around 11 years old. My whole family and I were on our way to see our cousins for dinner. It was a 25 minutes drive away from our home, partly passing over a bridge to a suburbian large island. I was sitting in the back seat with my sisters, and we were just crossing the long bridge above water. I remember my father was getting increasingly upset with all of us at that moment. He was angry that we were so late (again), and he expressed how much he was against being late. In some indirect way, he put the blame on the other five of us, that is, his four daughters and wife. (It apparently took some time for us females to get dressed, so probably we were to blame to different degrees…) While hearing his angry words, I remember scrutinizing silently my own share in us being late, and wondering if I were to blame for the situation and thus for his anger. Here and then, I subconsciously draw the following conclusion (as a belief):

– ”If I am late, someone can get angry with me.”

Somewhere in my deep subconscious mind, I must have put the above two beliefs together:

– ”If I am late, someone can get angry with me, and if someone gets angry with me, something dangerous might happen.”

Furthermore, the core belief ”I need to rush or hurry with what I am doing” (first identified) is at play here too, being a sort of ”secondary” belief sitting on top of the two ”primary” beliefs stated above. Furthermore, the two event-induced beliefs created a third summarizing belief. So in sum, what caused the recurring pain in my lower legs was the sum of four interconnected beliefs, as well as some emotional residue stored in my body from the two events. As the emotional residue was processed, the three interconnected (limiting) beliefs could be released.

In conclusion, by processing certain painful events in our lives and identifying and transforming associated subconscious beliefs, we are able to remove the mental and emotional ”constructs” that lie at the root of our bodily pain. There are various methods available for such inner work, for example EFT tapping and BodyWisdom. As a valuable complement to these, I have developed a highly effective and profound process, called Into Essence, which works in a stepwise manner on all levels of our experience (i.e. the mental, emotional, physical, energetic and subconscious levels).

Thanks to such inner work on myself, I am today almost painfree in my legs. Yet, if the pain does arise again on occasion, it is because there are still certain underlying beliefs that need to be discovered and shifted, and/or some emotional residue that still needs to be processed and released. Fortunately, with these tools, I can choose to continue my inner work until all of these steps have been completed and the lessons ”embedded within the pain” have been received and integrated into my daily life. When/if this occurrs, the recurring pain will no longer be ”necessary” and thus (most likely) cease to be.

Some final words of hope and encouragement

By sharing this personal story, it is my hope that you will recognize the possibility that you too can become painfree. Especially if you have tried other types of emotional, mental or physical therapies in the past and haven’t find the relief that you hoped for. If so, I would love to help you. Please welcome to contact me via email or phone to learn more.

Frances Goodall, co-founder of the Women’s Wellness Circle in the UK, describes her own healing journey from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at the online summit Women’s Wellnes Council 2019. Her full healing finally happened when she ”let her authentic feelings flow”, as she explained. Not only did she let her negative emotions flow, but also she began listening to and fully expressing her positive feelings, including her joy. Authenticity, Freedom and Joy were thus key factors enabling her to eventually heal.

To summarize, six key factors have shown to be essential for enabling natural healing, regardless of which condition that we are facing. These are:

1. AUTHENTICITY (being true to our selves): In order to heal from an illness or any chronic health condition, we need to start listening to our Inner Self (our Soul) and the truths it conveys. As we listen more deeply within, we will become aware of our deeper needs, desires and longings, as well as what we lack in our present life and what drains us of energy. Also, we need to give ourselves permission to take these insights and truths seriously, and to begin to act upon them in our daily life. Ultimately, we need to create a life where we are following our inner guidance and living in alignment with our truth, no matter how inconvenient and uncomfortable our truths may be.
2. FREEDOM (expressing our feelings freely): For our healing, we also need to express ourselves freely. This includes expressing all of our feelings. Our natural ways of self-expression are unique to us. Perhaps we need to get to know them again as adults, and then to accept them as they are. Some people express themselves in large, loud and bold ways, while others prefer to be more subtle, calm and cautious. We cannot violate our personality; ultimately we need to surrender to our natural ways (although we might need to compromise with the needs of others sometimes). Our emotions are in fact made of subtle energy. This energy needs to flow freely both within our body and outwardly. Many people have learned (over time) to hold their feelings back and to put a lid on their anger, sadness, grief, etc, as well as their joy, gratitude, and love. We often block ourselves unconsciously as not to overwhelm and cause unease to others. Over time, as we hold our emotions back, we are creating built-up energy in our bodies. Eventually, this may result in tension and muscle fatigue, even chronic pain or a disease. Eventually, we must learn to relax and start releasing this blocked energy so that we can create space for new healthy energy to flow through us, in order to heal our body.
3. JOY (following our heart’s desire): When we follow our heart’s true desire, we feel a spontaneous joy and natural force of life inside. When this joyous energy is allowed to flow freely throughout our body, without constraints, we are replenishing, rejuvenating and healing our body in miraculous ways. We are in fact tapping into an endless reservoar of universal life energy, which springs up from within and flows through every cell of our body. In contrast, when we take action mainly out of necessity, plight or self-discipline, the energy is largely sourced from our muscle tissues and other organs. Also, as we force ourselves to do things against our own will, we tense our bodies unconsciously. As a result, our body can become depleted of energy, our muscles sore and aching, and our overall health can eventualy be compromised. Therefore, an essential ingredient for healing is to listen to our heart and follow our true joy.
4. SELF-EMPOWERMENT (influencing our life): To be able to influence and improve our life circumstances, no matter how small the improvement might be, can be greatly empowering. Experiencing an improvement can give us renewed hope, strength and energy. At the most fundamental level, we at least have the power to influence our own thinking, which in turn influences our feelings and ultimately our reactions and actions. With our free will, we can also make new choices that will shift our situation for the better.  Even when we feel largely stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation, we can choose to look for inspiration and hope in a true positive story about someone else who was able to heal from a similar condition as we have. Moreover, we can find new ways to manage our situation through alternative creative approaches (such as sound baths, breathing, journaling, drawing, smoothies, etc.). With small steps in the right direction, we are likely to see light at the end of the tunnel eventually. When we begin to take actions to improve our situation (even if just a tiny bit), we will stop feeling like a complete victim. If we widen our perspective, we also broaden our horizon. In essence, there is always something that we can do to shift our experience and improve our life. Every little step on the way counts to restoring our health and wellbeing.
5. OPTIMISM (looking for the positive): Ultimately, we need to believe in the possibility of our recovery, or at least believe in the higher good of our situation from a soul perspective. Mary Morrissey suggests that we ask ourselves: ”What good can possibly come out of this?”. This question can be deeply transformational as it opens up a completely new outlook on our situation. We are here encouraged to look for any benefit or gain that can arise from our situation (in the present moment or forseeable future). Any gain or benefit can be found, regardless of how dark or hopeless it may seem in the now. Here, having some kind of spiritual belief system (i.e. a belief in a universal benevolent Higher Power), by which to put our trust in, has proven very helpful.
6. Social support (receiving support from others): Lastly, we do depend on the support of others, especially when we are facing great challenges or when our health is wavering. In these moments, we are greatly supported by having someone to talk to, ideally someone who will listen to our sadness or worries and also encourage us and lift us up. We truly benefit from someone who believes in our recovery and future health, even it may seem very distant to us (even impossible) in the present moment. Other people may lighten our work load around the home, or give a smile and hug when we feel low. Having a support team of persons with different roles can be THE difference that makes the journey so much easier.

Vi bär alla på tusentals föreställningar, varav de allra flesta är omedvetna för oss. Föreställningar kan handla om oss själva, om andra människor, om livet generellt, om grupper av människor, osv. Många av våra föreställningar är begränsande för oss, då de endast stödjer ett visst sorts ”uttryck” samtidigt som det motsäger sig ett annat. Föreställningar kan också vara generaliserande eller tillspetsade. Exempel på begränsande föreställningar kan vara: ”Jag duger inte som jag är”. ”Jag är inte värd att vara med i gemenskaper.” ”Jag måste anpassa mig till andras behov.” ”Män får inte gråta.” ”Bara den starke överlever.” ”Unga människor är slarviga.” ”Världen är en orättvis plats.” ”Oavsett vad man gör kommer det att gå illa till slut.”

De kanske viktigaste begränsande föreställningarna handlar om hur vi tror att vi måste vara för att bli värda acceptans, kärlek, uppmärksamhet eller gemenskap. De kan också sägas ge uttryck för hur vi bör vara för att undvika ogillande, avvisande, utanförskap och/eller ensamhet. Många av våra föreställningar har vi ärvt från vår uppväxtmiljö, framförallt av våra föräldrar och syskon, medan andra kan uppstå i samspel med kompisar och lärare, eller under intryck av idoler eller den kultur som vi lever i. Vissa föreställningar utgör (även) en del av vår personlighet (vilket Enneagrammet kan avslöja).

Hur kan trauma skapa omedvetna föreställningar?

Vissa begränsande föreställningar kan ha uppstått ur känslomässigt smärtsamma händelser, sk. trauman. Många gånger sker detta under barndomen, då vi är som mest ”oskyddade”, beroende av andra och påverkbara. Dessa föreställningarna uppkommer då som ett sorts mentalt och emotionellt skydd – en sk. överlevnadsstrategi – för att inte uppleva samma smärtsamma känslor igen. (Jag brukar kalla dem för ”avoidance strategies”.) Ett exmpel på en sådan föreställning kan vara: ”Jag får inte visa mina sanna känslor.” En föreställning ger även upphov till likartade tankemönster. Ett exempel på tankemönster kan vara: ”När jag visar mina sanna känslor kan någon kritisera mig. Jag tänker aldrig avslöja mina djupaste känslor för någon.” Begränsande tankemönster kan i sin tur skapar känsomässiga spänningar, i form av t ex oro, besvikelse, skuld, skam, ilska, odyl. Exempel på detta kan vara: ”Jag har skuldkänslor inför min partner för att jag inte kan visa mina sanna känslor.” Känslorna, i sin tur, kan ge upphov till fysiska spänningar, såsom tillfällig värk (t ex ryggvärk) och med tiden eventuellt kronisk värk. Vi utvecklar med andra ord spänningar på olika nivåer inom oss, dvs på mental, känslomässig (energimässig) och kroppslig nivå.

Hur kan vi befria oss från våra begränsningar, spänningar och symptom?

För att bli av med våra begränsande föreställningar, emotionella spänningar och fysiska symptom, behöver vi en metod som ser till HELA människan. Vi behöver även identifiera och förstå: den ursprungliga smärtsamma händelsen eller situationen; tillhörande känslor (inklusive rädslor); inblandade personer; samt de omedvetna föreställningarna som skapades ur händelsen. Jag (Anna) använder en holistisk och djupgående process som heter Into Essence. Processen är unik och utvecklades (av mig) under åren 2019 – 2021. Den omfattar i huvudsak följande fyra steg:

1. Tankeanalys: Det första steget handlar om att hjälpa Dig att identifiera de främsta (omedvetna) föreställningarna som begränsar Ditt liv, mentalt och känslomässigt, och som skapar (eller med tiden kan resultera i) emotionella besvär, spänningar, värk och andra kroppsliga symptom. Här handlar det om att välja ut en föreställning som är särskilt emotionellt laddad för dig. Du kommer sedan att få uppleva denna föreställning på ett mångfacetterat sätt, genom att upprepa meningen på olika sätt. Denna modalitet är unik för MindShift Coaching och har utvecklats av mig (Anna).
2. BodyWisdom: Det andra steget handlar om att hjälpa Dig att våga vara mer närvarande i kroppen, för att uppleva alla sensationer som kroppen signalerar, såsom spänningar, stramhet, densitet, ångest, tryckkänsla, värk, kvävning, osv. Denna process kallas BodyWisdom. Genom att uppmärksamma och uppleva alla sensationer i kroppen mer fullt – även obekväma och smärtsamma – kan nedtryckta känslor (energier) frigöras. Detta skapar uttrymme för kroppen att återfå sin balans och läkas. I detta steg får du även värdefulla budskap från din kropp, som kan göra dig friare, gladare, starkare, lugnare och tryggare.
3. Inre Resan: I det tredje steget guidar jag Dig tillbaka i tiden, till den smärtsamma situationen eller händelsen i livet, där du upplevde ditt trauma. Här får möjlighet att uppleva den smärtsamma eller skrämmande situationen på ett NYTT och mer NYANSERAT sätt, dvs i ett ”TRYGGT inre rum”. Du kommer att få möta den/de personer som eventuellt sårat/skrämt dig och som du aldrig riktigt försonades med. Du kommer även att få möjlighet att säga det som du aldrig kunde eller vågade säga, samt uttrycka de känslor som du aldrig kunde uttrycka. Du kommer också att få den förklaring som du aldrig fick, samt känna den kärlek eller förlåtelse som du aldrig upplevde. På detta vis kommer du att få en djupare förståelse för dig själv, de(n) andre och situationen i sin helhet. Detta är en djupt läkande processen. Även denna modalitet är utvecklad av mig (Anna) och kallas för Inre Resan.
4. Integrering: I det sista steget kommer Du att formulera dina viktigaste insikter under processen, framförallt om ditt egenvärde. Du kommer här också att få hjälp att identifiera stärkande affirmationer, vilka du kan använda dagligen eller vid behov, för att integrera de viktiga resultaten från vår process i ditt liv.

Genom denna process kan du också att bli av med, eller drastiskt minska, olika rädslor, orostankar och diverse kroppsliga besvär. Du kan också få en helt ny självbild och en ny ljusare syn på livet och framtiden.

Varmt välkommen att höra av dig om du bär på känslomässiga trauman, mentala blockeringar, värk, stress, spänningar, mm, som du vil bli av med. Jag hjälper dig gärna!

Du kan läsa mer om våra metoder här: https://mindshiftcoaching.se/sv/coaching/

The OUTER layer of the sphere is where our EGO resides. When we are inside this outer layer, we operate from our Ego-mind. We are like a Point of Awareness that is temporarily located in the outskirts of our own Consciousness. Our Ego-mind functions like a self-proclaimed Guard, guarding its own interests and the survival of the body/flesh against any perceived potential threat in our surroundings.

In this Guard position, we are constantly watching, assessing, judging, and controlling what is coming IN to our sphere, and what is going OUT from our sphere. Therefore, we carefully observe what is going on around us and what we need to protect ourselves from. Unknowingly, we can also let things pass through the guard gates and affect us in different ways (eg supporting our selfish interests or confirming our fears and beliefs). Here, we also try to control what we express outwardly (as going OUT from the sphere). So, in the Guard position, we constantly attempt to look out for and control what is being exchanged with our surroundings. Because it’s based in fear, the guard position can be a dark and lonely place.

Meanwhile, the very core of our sphere is where our SOUL resides. Here, we are RESTING in total Stillness; we are ONE with our Soul – our pure Essence – being Unconditional Love, Truth, and Freedom. But, because we ARE Consciousness, we can MOVE our point of awareness between the outer layer (our Guard position) and the inner Core of our Being (our Soul). So, when we feel fear, anger, shame, sadness, etc, we can CHOOSE to MOVE away from that Outer layer and back into the Core of our Being.

In sum, in the Guard position, we are like an atom inside a dark cloud and the only thing we see is the cloud. We have forgotten that the cloud is actually existing within a vast blue sky, and that we can, if we wish, choose to move back to our center… to the warm, ever radiating, Sun, which is made of Unconditional Love.

As formulated in the book The Way of the Heart (by Jayem, 2014):

“… If you were a gardener, would you not cultivate the art of weeding your garden? Would you not look to see that the soil is just the correct dampness? Would you not keep your eye on the clouds on the horizon and the heat of the day? Would you not cover the delicate plants that need protection while they grow strong? And if those that would come would not respect your garden, would you not ask them to leave, or build a temporary fence until the garden is strong enough — until it bursts forth with enough fruit so that you can give to even those who do not respect it? — “Be you, therefore, a wise gardener. Cultivate a deep love and respect for yourself….”, which will eventually overflow to others…

Photo below from Unsplash.com