Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

The passage is found in the New Testament in Matthew (7:7, NIV). For many people, these words are merely a beautiful text with little or no meaning on a personal level. Perhaps its promise may not even seem realistic, especially if we lack a spiritual or religious life. Even with a belief in a Higher Power, the message may still seem too good to be true. Yet, during the last years of my own life, this passage has been transformed from a distant possibility to an actual reality.

Using “asking” in real life

In my interpretation today, I believe the “asking” is not primarily meant to be a wishing for good or better things. Rather, it would refer to “a yearning for a change of mind and heart”. It may be a need to understand a complex situation; or for guidance on how to act in a difficult situation, or how to relate to another person; or a desire for another emotional state, such as more harmony or courage.

When a difficult situation arises in my life, my natural tendency has always been to call a friend or talk with a parent to ventilate and ask for advice. As an adult, I will also turn to my husband to share my thoughts and feelings, and perhaps receive comfort in a long hug. Over the last years, however, when a challenge comes up, I have begun to also turn within (to God*) for guidance. In many ways, this practice is not farfetched for me, as I do believe in God’s existence and have a sincere interest in spirituality. Yet, before my very first experience of asking God and actually receiving an answer, I didn’t know if it would be possible. Today, having received clear and relevant answers on at least a handful of occasions, I know through personal experience that it is indeed possible for any person. (*Note: Instead of using the word God, you may refer to a “Higher power”, “Source”, “Spirit”, “Higher Self”, “Soul”, “Your body’s inner wisdom”, or similar.)

When asking, the question may concern anything that feels important in that moment. For me, the answer may come as one or more words or as an inner image. There is no sound in the head but the words and images come telepathically, either as written words or scenes. More than often, and to my astonishment, the same message will come again several times over the following days or weeks, by other means. For example, I might be reading a text and the same words that were received within are seen written on the page. Or I might be listening to an audio or watching a video, and the same answer is emphasized by the person speaking. I am amazed by the confirmation every time. It gives me assurance that I should take the message ‘to heart’ and act upon it with trust.

Note: We are the most receptive to an answer when we are most desparate for help. We need to be fully open to whatever is given and eagerly yearning for an answer, not just asking out of curiousity. You could say that your heart must be open and yearning so that the door (to God/Higher Wisdom) will be opened for you.

The Process of Asking

The process of asking is really quite simple. Practically, I will be lying down on my bed, either in the evening at bedtime, in the morning after waking up, or in the daytime when I feel a pressing need to go within for an answer. I begin by closing my eyes and setting an intention to turn inward with an open, curious, and humble mind. I then anchor myself with a simple reminder that “I do not know what do think/feel/do” (depending on what I feel). I then wait patiently for any word or image to arise in my mind. The answers astonish me each time; they are crystal clear in terms of the wordings and meaning for my personal situation. Also, they are perfectly relevant and to the point for my particular question.

When asking, it is important to be open to whatever answers may come. If we hold judgment, disbelief, or any other form of resistance, we will block ourselves from hearing or seeing an answer. At the same time, we need to have some level of discernment in order to rely on the source of the answer and to trust in the message. If the message is coming from your own egoic mind (or personality), it tends to be based either in fear or primarily selfish concerns. In contrast, if the answer is truly coming from a higher source of wisdom, you feel the quality of benevolence in the answer, and you may be surprised by its wisdom and simplicity. A thought like this may come: “Of course, why didn’t I think of that!”. When we are able to intuitively trust in the source, we will know that the message is of the highest good for both ourselves and everyone concerned.

At the same time, we always have free will to decide whether to believe in and act upon the answer, or to ignore it and dismiss it. No matter what their character, we have the opportunity to learn from our choices and actions.

A message: Wait, Believe and Focus

Some time ago, I was faced with a difficult situation and was struggling with a sense of confusion and lack of direction. At one point, I realized that I needed to ask God for guidance, as I couldn’t find the answers within my intellectual mind nor in other people’s advice. The situation was too complex to understand with my intellect, and because I didn’t know how to relate to it emotionally, I couldn’t find any peace inside.

So, I decided to go within. I closed my eyes and formulated my central question as truthfully and concisely as possible. Then, I directed my attention forward as if focusing on a central point in front of me in the blurr scene of my inner vision. I rested in a trust that the question will be heard (by God) and that – if I wait patiently long enough – an answer will emerge. The question was: “How can I relate to this situation?”

Within a few minutes or less, a word arose in my mind: “WAIT” (as “vänta” in Swedish). I gratefully savored the word, including its significance and implications, which came almost instantaneously along with the word. For me, the message meant that I needed to wait for the underlying process to unfold at its own pace, and I needed to have patience and to trust in the natural progression of events (yet playing my part as well as I could).

After some seconds’ pause, I asked again: “Is there anything more?”. I waited in silence and soon another word appeared before my inner vision: “BELIEVE” (as “tro” in Swedish). Ahh, yes, I instantly knew its meaning for me: I needed to believe that Goodness/Love is strongest and will conquer anything, that God is in charge as the Highest Power, and that there is a purpose for everything, which is beyond my present understanding and control.

A third time I asked: “Is there anything more?” Now, an image appeared of a certain person with light and love coming out of his/her body as beaming radiance. The understanding that was given with the image was that I needed to focus on the light (or good and pure) in him/her, through loving eyes. Of course, it made so much sense…

After a moment’s pondering on each answer, I thanked God whole-heartedly for the three-part message. It had given me both calm and direction. Now, I knew how to relate to the situation with greater clarity and peace. By trusting in the message, I was able to shift my mental approach to the situation and adjust my behavior in a more constructive way. I knew that I now would be able to support the situation’s natural unfolding for the highest outcome to all involved.

In this way, I was part of a greater positive process. I was neither powerless, nor a victim, nor fully in charge either. The situation was not about me, but about the evolution of all souls/people involved. My part was simply to wait, believe, and focus on the light/love in the other person. (Fascinatingly, this message was confirmed by external messages as shown in the photos below.) Only a few days after the original message to wait, believe and focus, the importance of waiting was given again in the subway as I looked up from my phone and through the window.

Only a few days after the original message “to wait, believe and focus”, this message was given again inside the subway train; when I looked up from my phone and through the window, I see these words: “Good things come to those who wait”. Some days later, yet another confirmation was given on my way home, again on the subway wall: “Waiting for a miracle”. (See the two photos below)

Today, in hindsight, I can say that the perfect answer was truly given. I had knocked and the door was indeed opened, as if lifting a veil to another dimension where truth and wisdom are ever present. By asking with sincerity, I had been supported in recognizing the most beneficial perspective, attitude, and action to move forward.In the future, I will continue to ask God for guidance whenever I am faced with a difficult situation and feel confused or uncertain.

With a pure intention, an open mind and a humble heart, we can all receive answers to the questions we hold. If we only knock with sincerity and wait with patience, the door will be opened and the message presented clearly. And if we can intuitively discern and trust in the source, we will receive and know our wisest and most loving path forward. Perhaps next time, you may wish to try (if you haven’t already)? If so, would love to hear your experiences. ♡

Warm blessings,
Anna

For many people, finding time and space for “stillness” can be difficult in modern everyday life. Yet, being still has many highly valuable benefits for our health and wellbeing, as proven by research. When we still ourselves, by sitting or laying down, closing our eyes, and turning our attention inward, we are able to tune into our bodily sensations and become aware of our thoughts and feelings, and ultimately, listen to our inner voice. People who practice meditation, mindfulness, yoga, or similar forms of centering practice on a regular basis are well acquainted with the calming, deeply relaxing and even healing outcomes of being still. For others, however, practicing stillness can be difficult to “make happen” on most days, perhaps even on vacation.

Words from Ancient Teachings

In the Old Testament, there is a famous verse that reads: “Be Still, and Know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10). When we are still and focus our attention inward, we can align with our inner “center point”. Some people call this place our “Soul center”. Others describe it as our “True or Higher Self” or “Essence”. Still others refer to it as “God within” and believe it to be the place where we are “One with God”. Regardless of how we phrase it, it is the place where we become witness to our external conditions, as the events, people and environment around us. Even more importantly, it is also the place where we can observe our inner reality, as our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. In other words, we become the Observer as opposed to the Reactor. Thus, when we lean back into our center point, we distance our awareness away from our random thoughts, associated feelings, and any discomfort in our body. As the Observers of our reality, we can begin to detach from (or let go of) our fears, worries, expectations, desires, etc. After sufficient mindfulness practice, we can eventually experience moments of “equanimity” (or inner calm) and even so-called “enlightenment” (or spiritual awakening).

Buddha wrote at great length about how to attain equanimity and enlightenment through various practices of mindfulness and surrendering. According to the buddhist monk Bhikkhu Bodhi, “The mind of equanimity is compared to the driver of a chariot when the horses are moving at a steady pace: he neither has to urge them forward nor to hold them back, but can just sit comfortably and watch the scenery go by.” (The Noble Eightfold Path, 1998). Jesus also encouraged us to loosen our strings to the outer world with his saying: “Be passersby” (Gospel of Thomas, Saying 42). In the same Gospel, Jesus also encourages us to seek the “treasure that is unfailing, that is enduring, where no moth comes to eat and no worm destroys.” In other words, the enduring treasures are rarely found in the outer world, but rather in the spiritual or relational inner world.

Your answers are found within…

In our modern lives, it is easy to become distracted by the constant flow of information and outer impressions, especially if you are an extrovert. Yet, often, it is not in the outer world where we find our most valuable answers and unique ideas, but within. When we practice meditation, or let our minds rest in effortless wandering, for example while sitting on the bus or taking a shower, we are suddenly given the very answers that we seek.

Our “inside” is nothing like an empty dull well, but rather like a flourishing garden where we can find our greatest treasures. Our innermost reality has understandably been likened to a Kingdom, as portrayed in the Gospel of Luke: “Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, [See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21, New Testament)

Moreover, Emmet Fox, one of the most popular New Thought Leaders of the early 20th century in the US, wrote: “It is being still to know that God is God. Such ‘stillness’ is the reverse of laziness or inaction. The still dwelling upon God is the quietest but the most potent action of all.” (Source) In other words, the practice of stillness need not be a passive act, but can be a continuous adventure of exploring your ever-unfolding unknown. Regardless of what you may be expecting, being still and going within can lead you to the very answers that you have been seeking, and to the peace of mind and heart that you have been longing for. At least, it will be a journey worthwile taking.

In the image (above), I share my own definition of “meditation”. To me, it is “the practice of consciously re-turning to our innermost place of being the still, silent and serene Observer, where we are able to rest peacefully in the Here and Now and embody our innate capacity for non-judgment, non-reactivity and awareness of eternal unity.” Yes, lots of words, but hopefully something worth contemplating…

For more inspiration, see this article “The Outer Guard Position vs The Inner Soul Center“.

PS. This article was first written as a “newsletter”, which was sent out in November, 2021.

Coaching on to the Spiritual and Existential

If you wish to talk about existential and/or spiritual aspects of human life, or if you are facing a personal existential challenge or crisis in your own life, warm welcome to contact me. (Read more here.)

Could you remain calm despite having your full head inside a lion’s mouth, while feeling its teeth around your neck, and knowing that you are completely powerless? Could you feel safe while sitting alone in a cave and feeling the full weight of a lion’s body on yours with no means to defend yourself or escape the situation?

Yes, for Fred Donaldson, this was in fact possible! Fred shares his remarkable experiences and lessons in a fascinating interview, “There’s Nothing to be Afraid of”, at the Embodiment Conference (aired between October 14-25, 2020).

During his last 40 years, Fred Donaldson has spent most of his time interacting with, playing with, and learning from wild animals (including lions, tigers, grizzly bears and wolves) and children of different cultures (including street kids in Mexico). All this time, he has been driven by a deep curiosity and fascination of the way children and animal play and communicate. What he discovered was a universal, inherent, intuitive, and non-verbal form of communication, which was enabled by a natural ability to rest in the present moment. Yet, this form of communication seems to weaken as we grow up and become rational adults of the modern world.

Yet, over time, Fred learned that it is actually possible to re-learn how to feel present, grounded, and safe – even in extreme situations of apparent danger. For example, he was able to stay calm and present even as he came close up with a wild grizzly bear (who put its enormous head against Fred’s, rested his paw on his shoulder, and pushed him to fall on the ground). Or when he walked into a classroom to bring out a young boy (who was holding a knife), by turning his back towards the boy and silently inviting him to jump up onto his back, so that they could both walk out safely and disarm the situation.

Through his unique experiences, Fred also realized that, “the more connected you are [to the situation, to others, and to the mystery of life], the safer you are. And the safer you are, the safer the other person is.” He also learned to “give 100% of love and receive whatever comes.” In other words, to give love unconditionally without demanding or expecting anything in return. Also, he learned what it means to focus on the now (no future and no past) and to trust the present moment to 100%.

Also, by interacting with children and wild animals, Fred recognized what he calls “a mystery of life” as well as an inherent goodness in all life forms:

“[It felt as if God, the children, and all animals had come together to] show me that my view of the world is way too small… and [to] give me situations in which I have no taught skill to handle. And yet I [discovered that I had] come with the skill! And I have no idea where it comes from. And to feel comfortable, to feel at ease with that mystery and the beauty of that life. It is just an amazing experience… I call it a coherence among life, that when it’s there, it’s communicated. And you know, not just young people, but among all life forms. Hm, that is safety. That’s what it means to have nothing to be afraid of.”

“And the reality is, in all the years of doing this, the kids and animals have been incredibly kind to me. They can be very severe and very strict when I make mistakes. But there’s no blame. There’s no fault. There’s no revenge and they show me a kind of love that is just so powerful and so real. It’s tangible, you can actually feel it like you’re embraced in it. That’s amazing. It just surrounds you.” — “I become this, as my language. Not meant to be a word that everyone has to use, but I become a ‘face of God’ and I play with ‘the face of God’. I’m not playing with a grizzly or a lion or a child with autism or a gang member. I’m playing with the face of God. And it’s the face of God presence. That’s the magic…. That’s where safety is. And it’s nothing to be afraid of.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

In other words, when Fred recognized the face of God in the other person (or in the wild animal), he realized that there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing to fear. There was only love – a powerful and tangible love. He could rest in this full embrace, knowing he was completely safe.

Fred also emphasizes the value of dropping our self-defense and our identifications or roles:

“I’ve learned over all these years that self-defense… I don’t want to [do that]. It’s not about defending myself ever… Love is a much stronger force or energy than fear. So… I call it self-disappearance, so that the categories that might be visible or felt by someone else, that makes them afraid, disappear. I don’t appear as a human or a white guy or therapist or any of those other categories that allow us to get hurt. And that was 100% taught to me by kids and animals without talking.” – “We can choose to play and die, rather than live and not play. It is about playing fully, not waiting. This is it!” — “And that’s what it is, every time, every child, every animal, every human. When we play, it is God’s gift to each of us, that we give back and forth.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

How can we live in this state of total trust and surrendering? Fred shares some valuable everyday practices:

You can start by “feeling the beauty every day. Find something. If you don’t touch it with your hand, touch it with your eyes. Feel the beauty in us, in the world around us, in the rain, where you are. And, in that feeling, in the simple feeling of beauty, there is love.”—“Touch the world around you.” —” Just touching it makes us connected.”— “Think of touching an infant, think of touching a butterfly… What does it feel like for the butterfly to touch you? That is the skill you need.” — So, “Don’t grab the world, embrace it.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

To create mutual trust and safety in our interactions with other people (and animals), the lessons of Fred may be summarized in the following bullets:

1. Be silent initially as you approach another person (or animal), as opposed to using words.
2. Be grounded in your body and become aware of the body language, both yours and the others.
3. Trust your body’s intelligence, as opposed to trusting your brain and rational mind.
4. Lower your guard using your body posture and movements, so as to not give a threatening impression, which would be sensed by the other.
5. Express trust in the other person with your body language, as opposed to showing fear and distrust.
6. Sense the other person energetically, by tuning into the other person’s energy.
7. Feel the other person emotionally, while choosing to feel only love in return.
8. Trust the inherent good will and innocence of the other person.
9. Feel and express only unconditional love for the other person.
10. Have clarity of mind, by knowing your intentions and being clear about your actions. (When we feel clarity, there is less confusion and fear in the other person.)

For more information about Fred Donaldson’s work, see: International Foundation for Original Play. Photo by Florian Berger (Unsplash.com).