The OUTER layer of the sphere is where our EGO resides. When we are inside this outer layer, we operate from our Ego-mind. We are like a Point of Awareness that is temporarily located in the outskirts of our own Consciousness. Our Ego-mind functions like a self-proclaimed Guard, guarding its own interests and the survival of the body/flesh against any perceived potential threat in our surroundings.

In this Guard position, we are constantly watching, assessing, judging, and controlling what is coming IN to our sphere, and what is going OUT from our sphere. Therefore, we carefully observe what is going on around us and what we need to protect ourselves from. Unknowingly, we can also let things pass through the guard gates and affect us in different ways (eg supporting our selfish interests or confirming our fears and beliefs). Here, we also try to control what we express outwardly (as going OUT from the sphere). So, in the Guard position, we constantly attempt to look out for and control what is being exchanged with our surroundings. Because it’s based in fear, the guard position can be a dark and lonely place.

Meanwhile, the very core of our sphere is where our SOUL resides. Here, we are RESTING in total Stillness; we are ONE with our Soul – our pure Essence – being Unconditional Love, Truth, and Freedom. But, because we ARE Consciousness, we can MOVE our point of awareness between the outer layer (our Guard position) and the inner Core of our Being (our Soul). So, when we feel fear, anger, shame, sadness, etc, we can CHOOSE to MOVE away from that Outer layer and back into the Core of our Being.

In sum, in the Guard position, we are like an atom inside a dark cloud and the only thing we see is the cloud. We have forgotten that the cloud is actually existing within a vast blue sky, and that we can, if we wish, choose to move back to our center… to the warm, ever radiating, Sun, which is made of Unconditional Love.

Could you remain calm despite having your full head inside a lion’s mouth, while feeling its teeth around your neck, and knowing that you are completely powerless? Could you feel safe while sitting alone in a cave and feeling the full weight of a lion’s body on yours with no means to defend yourself or escape the situation?

Yes, for Fred Donaldson, this was in fact possible! Fred shares his remarkable experiences and lessons in a fascinating interview, ”There’s Nothing to be Afraid of”, at the Embodiment Conference (aired between October 14-25, 2020).

During his last 40 years, Fred Donaldson has spent most of his time interacting with, playing with, and learning from wild animals (including lions, tigers, grizzly bears and wolves) and children of different cultures (including street kids in Mexico). All this time, he has been driven by a deep curiosity and fascination of the way children and animal play and communicate. What he discovered was a universal, inherent, intuitive, and non-verbal form of communication, which was enabled by a natural ability to rest in the present moment. Yet, this form of communication seems to weaken as we grow up and become rational adults of the modern world.

Yet, over time, Fred learned that it is actually possible to re-learn how to feel present, grounded, and safe – even in extreme situations of apparent danger. For example, he was able to stay calm and present even as he came close up with a wild grizzly bear (who put its enormous head against Fred’s, rested his paw on his shoulder, and pushed him to fall on the ground). Or when he walked into a classroom to bring out a young boy (who was holding a knife), by turning his back towards the boy and silently inviting him to jump up onto his back, so that they could both walk out safely and disarm the situation.

Through his unique experiences, Fred also realized that, “the more connected you are [to the situation, to others, and to the mystery of life], the safer you are. And the safer you are, the safer the other person is.” He also learned to “give 100% of love and receive whatever comes.” In other words, to give love unconditionally without demanding or expecting anything in return. Also, he learned what it means to focus on the now (no future and no past) and to trust the present moment to 100%.

Also, by interacting with children and wild animals, Fred recognized what he calls “a mystery of life” as well as an inherent goodness in all life forms:

“[It felt as if God, the children, and all animals had come together to] show me that my view of the world is way too small… and [to] give me situations in which I have no taught skill to handle. And yet I [discovered that I had] come with the skill! And I have no idea where it comes from. And to feel comfortable, to feel at ease with that mystery and the beauty of that life. It is just an amazing experience… I call it a coherence among life, that when it’s there, it’s communicated. And you know, not just young people, but among all life forms. Hm, that is safety. That’s what it means to have nothing to be afraid of.”

“And the reality is, in all the years of doing this, the kids and animals have been incredibly kind to me. They can be very severe and very strict when I make mistakes. But there’s no blame. There’s no fault. There’s no revenge and they show me a kind of love that is just so powerful and so real. It’s tangible, you can actually feel it like you’re embraced in it. That’s amazing. It just surrounds you.” — “I become this, as my language. Not meant to be a word that everyone has to use, but I become a ‘face of God’ and I play with ‘the face of God’. I’m not playing with a grizzly or a lion or a child with autism or a gang member. I’m playing with the face of God. And it’s the face of God presence. That’s the magic…. That’s where safety is. And it’s nothing to be afraid of.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

In other words, when Fred recognized the face of God in the other person (or in the wild animal), he realized that there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing to fear. There was only love – a powerful and tangible love. He could rest in this full embrace, knowing he was completely safe.

Fred also emphasizes the value of dropping our self-defense and our identifications or roles:

“I’ve learned over all these years that self-defense… I don’t want to [do that]. It’s not about defending myself ever… Love is a much stronger force or energy than fear. So… I call it self-disappearance, so that the categories that might be visible or felt by someone else, that makes them afraid, disappear. I don’t appear as a human or a white guy or therapist or any of those other categories that allow us to get hurt. And that was 100% taught to me by kids and animals without talking.” – “We can choose to play and die, rather than live and not play. It is about playing fully, not waiting. This is it!” — “And that’s what it is, every time, every child, every animal, every human. When we play, it is God’s gift to each of us, that we give back and forth.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

How can we live in this state of total trust and surrendering? Fred shares some valuable everyday practices:

You can start by “feeling the beauty every day. Find something. If you don’t touch it with your hand, touch it with your eyes. Feel the beauty in us, in the world around us, in the rain, where you are. And, in that feeling, in the simple feeling of beauty, there is love.”—“Touch the world around you.” —” Just touching it makes us connected.”— “Think of touching an infant, think of touching a butterfly… What does it feel like for the butterfly to touch you? That is the skill you need.” — So, ”Don’t grab the world, embrace it.” (Fred Donaldson, Embodiment Conference, 2020)

To create mutual trust and safety in our interactions with other people (and animals), the lessons of Fred may be summarized in the following bullets:

1. Be silent initially as you approach another person (or animal), as opposed to using words.
2. Be grounded in your body and become aware of the body language, both yours and the others.
3. Trust your body’s intelligence, as opposed to trusting your brain and rational mind.
4. Lower your guard using your body posture and movements, so as to not give a threatening impression, which would be sensed by the other.
5. Express trust in the other person with your body language, as opposed to showing fear and distrust.
6. Sense the other person energetically, by tuning in to the other person’s energy.
7. Feel the other person emotionally, while choosing to feel only love in return.
8. Trust the inherent good will and innocence of the other person.
9. Feel and express only unconditional love for the other person.
10. Have clarity of mind, by knowing your intentions and being clear about your actions. (When we feel clarity, there is less confusion and fear in the other person.)

For more information about Fred Donaldson’s work, see: International Foundation for Original Play. Photo by Florian Berger (Unsplash.com).

In essence, the traumas that we go through in life are the very experiences that give us the lessons that we have come here to Earth to learn as Souls. Moreover, the persons that are involved in these traumas have been chosen by us (!) before we came to Earth as Souls. So, we ourselves initiated these teachers to help us grow as souls. The teachers (persons) may be our mother, father, sibling(s), partner, friend, boss, neighbour, etc. (In this context, a trauma is defined as an event that created an emotional or energetic blockage in our body, due to the suppression and containment of emotions.)

So, by looking closely at our main traumas in life, we begin to recognize a pattern, as similar traumas that are repeated over and over again. Yet, if we don’t consciously come to recognize these traumas as being our narrative in this life, we will subconsciously repeat and re-experience the same type of traumas over and over again. This will happen until, one day, we feel that we have had enough of these emotionally painful experiences, and we begin to identify the essential lessons behind these traumas. Now, we can choose to heal our wounds and also adopt new empowering beliefs that will be in alignment with our Soul’s true purpose. (Anna Brismar, inspired by Itzhak Beery)

Beery also shares an example of a key trauma from his own life. As a child, Beery learned that he was not allowed to talk freely, a message that was imposed upon him by a teacher. (The teacher thought that Beery was too talkative, and told Beery that his words were ”numbered by God” and that ”he would die after he had used up all his words!”) Beery hence draw the conclusion that it was not safe for him to speak in public. Later in life, Beery would reexperience the same message through similar painful events, over and over again. This, in turn, reinforced the (subconscious) belief in Beery: ”I am not allowed to talk freely”. Eventually, after having worked through his traumas, Beery realized that his life purpose was to learn how to speak with authority and to claim his own authentic power! He realized that he was, in fact, meant to be a ”story-teller” for a large global audience.

Thus, in order to stop repeating the same type of traumas over and over again in your life, some key steps are necessary. (Note: I have here added some essential steps from the belief work process that was not part of Beery’s original message).

The important SHIFT in our life – from being a victim of repetitive traumas to stepping into our authentic power – requires the following steps:

1. To recognize the pattern of similar repeated traumas that is played out in your life (as a series of similar painful experiences);
2. To decide that you’ve had enough of these painful experiences, and that you want to learn from them now;
3. To embrace, process and heal the initial traumatic event and to release the fear (etc) that got stuck as energy in your body (as a child), and was later reinforced by similar painful events during your life. (Here you will need to embrace, give love and comfort to your inner child, etc.);
4. To actively let go of the subconscious and disempowering belief, for example: ”I am not allowed to talk freely.” (This requires an effective process, such as those used by MindShift Coaching); and lastly,
5. To consciously adopt a new empowering belief, such as: ”I am free to talk as much as I wish, even though other people may not approve of me/that”. Or ”I allow myself to talk freely regardless of other people’s opinions.” In essence, YOU are the one who needs to give yourself the permission!

According to Itzhak Beery, when you come to recognize the pattern of your traumas and realize your Soul’s purpose in this lifetime, you will begin to act out of Love (i.e. from your Soul) as opposed to out of Fear (i.e. from your Ego-mind). You will begin to live in (greater) alignment with your soul, and you will have the power to move (more) freely and authentically in the world, and to live a life of (greater) fulfillment.

As summarized by Beery:

Success is not how much money you have. Success is not your job that you create, or how big your company is. Success is being in alignment with your Soul purpose. That is when you feel successful, when you feel Love, because you surrender to Love. When you are walking within authentic power in the world, that is success. Success is being in alignment with your Soul purpose, that this soul, before you were born, came here to experience. And maybe, if you experienced that sole purpose, you would not have to come back again here. (Itzhak Beery, 2020, Embodiment Conference)

For more information about Itzhak Beery’s work, please visit: http://www.itzhakbeery.com/.

We are all wired to feel connected with others and to feel a sense of belonging in the world. This sense of belonging with others also brings joy, love, gratitude and higher meaning to life.

However, many people lack this feeling of connectedness with others. What Brené Brown found in her extensive research was that the key to feeling connected with others is to feel worthy of belonging. And, what keeps us from feeling worthy of belonging is our fear that something is fundamentally flawed with us and that we are not worthy or good enough in the eyes of others and ourselves.

In her entertaining and insightful presentation, Brené shares the following central message:  “In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen, for who were are”. We need to dare to be vulnerable and exposed, in our authenticity.

Being vulnerable in our nakedness is what truly makes us beautiful. But first we must let go of who we think we should be in order to be who we are, by embracing the belief that we are good enough as we are and by finding the courage to stand in our own imperfection before ourselves and others.

In contrast, persons who feel a strong sense of belonging and connection with others have the common belief that they are completely worthy of belonging. They also have the courage to be imperfect (all the time), both alone and with others. And, they are willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they really are. They believe that being vulnerable in itself makes you beautiful. In sum, they fully embrace their vulnerability – openly, lovingly and fearlessly.

(Sources: Image above by Priscilla du Preez from Unsplash; video from Ted Talks)

Have you ever wondered why you become particularly anxious and nervous in certain situations? Or, why certain fears keep coming back regardless of how much you try to ignore them, push them away or think positive? A fundamental reason for why our fears keep clinging to us, is simply the fact that they reflect what we love. For example, if you love to be in the company of others, you will fear exclusion or rejection from a social group or person. Maybe, as a child, you experienced being rejected from a group that you felt part of, or wished to become part of. And now, as an adult, you may (either consciously or subconsciously) try to avoid the risk of re-experiencing the same situation and feeelings. Belonging to a group and being close to others is however something that we all need as human beings. For some people, being part of a group may be particularly important. Yet, we all need to feel close to a least one or a few persons in our lives. Fear of exclusion or rejection is thus a basic human feeling that is shared by all people.

Thus, fear is a natural emotion that should be embraced and accepted just like any other feeling. By pushing it away, it may grow even stronger and eventually start to limit you in life. Instead, the best way to use our fears is to acknowledge them, to ”feel them fully”, and to use them as pathways to explore our wishes, desires, and needs even deeper – and to grow as persons.

Approaching our fears and emotional wounds can sometimes be hard on our own. Most of our emotional inprints from childhood are buried deep within our subconscious mind. Therefore, exploring our fears, and healing any hurtful experience from the past, may require a well-proven technique. EFT tapping and the Clear Beliefs Process are two of the most effective techniques for resolving/embracing fears and releasing buried emotions. MindShift Coaching works with both of these methods. If you have any fear or hurtful experience that you wish to address, warm welcome to contact Anna Brismar for a free short call (over phone or Zoom) or to book a session.

Below is a poem that I wrote in 2018 about fear and love.

LOVE AND FEAR GO HAND IN HAND

That which you love the most,
is that which you fear to loose

If you love to speak out your truths,
you will fear that no one wants to listen

If you love to be in company of others,
you will fear that no one wants to join you

If you love to be recognized for you achievements,
you will fear that no one appreciates your work

If you love to be free and self-sufficient,
you will fear to be dependent on others

If you love to be strong and healthy,
you will fear to be weak and vulnerable

The feelings of love and fear go hand in hand,
you will never have one without the other.

(By Anna Brismar, 2018)

(Photo by Max Goncharov via Unsplash)